NOT OUT... NOT OUT... NOT OUT FISTICUFFS AT ANNUAL CRICKET MATCH....

“The Bailiff is not in any real sense involved in making the law. His function as president of the States is that of a neutral umpire ensuring the observance of the rules of debate” Sir Philip Bailhache, Bailiff of Jersey, letter to Policy and Resources criticising the Clothier Report 15th February 2001

 
The extra-ordinary decision by the former Bailiff of Jersey, Sir Philip Bailhache, to stand for a Senator seat in the forthcoming October elections is totally without precedent. Having been in the public eye for over 30 years, 15 of them as Jersey’s leading citizen as chief judge of the Royal Court and President of the States of Jersey he has an enormous unfair advantage over other candidates. 

 

Whilst it is true that as Citizen Bailhache there would appear to be no legal way in which he can be prevented from this action, it is also clear that if he is elected - and this is by no means certain as many people will see through his statement that he has no desire to be the Chief Minister because I predict that this is exactly what he aspires to - the States will be placed in a ridiculous situation where his brother William, Deputy Bailiff, who presides over half of the States sittings, will be totally unable to be a neutral umpire.

The situation could well mirror this report published in the JEP of the annual cricket match between a team representing the Constitutional Lawyers and the Very Clever Lawyers, played at the Farmers Field, St. Martin.

“Opening batsman Sir Philip Bailhache, for the Constitutionals, was at the batsman’s end facing the bowling of Advocate Philip Sinel for the Very Clevers. Sinel is a very accomplished off-spinner, having learnt the art at Eton and later gained a cricket blue at Oxford. Sinel beat Bailhache all ends up with his first ball - a vicious off-break and had him plumb lbw.

All the Very Clever team leapt in the air as one, bawling “OWZAT”. The neutral umpire, Willie Bailhache, stared down the wicket at his brother and declared “NOT OUT”. Sinel stood at the bowling end, hands on hips, nostrils flaring, staring at Philip Bailhache, a look of utter disbelief on his face.

He stamped back to his mark, turned and delivered another perfect off-break. Bailhache again mistimed his shot, got the thickest of edges which was even heard as far away as the St. Martins pub. Again the fielding team leapt in the air shouting “OWZAT” Again Willie stared down the wicket, winked at his brother and declared “off his pads not his bat”.

What the Bailhaches didn’t know, however, was that Sinel, in his young, slimmer days, was one of the fastest bowlers in the UK university cricket teams around the country. By now thoroughly incensed, he paced out his run up of over 20 yards, thundered in and let fly a ball of jet-like speed which Philip never saw and which knocked all three stumps out of the ground and it took five minutes to find the bails which were located down by the boundary 50 yards away.

Sinel stared at neutral umpire Willie Bailhache and said: “Bloody near got him that time Willie” to which Willie replied “Not out it was a no ball”

A fight broke out on the pitch and the Bailhaches were last seen being chased through the lanes of St. Martin by stump weaving players and spectators. It is unlikely that this match, which has been part of the social scene of Jersey for over 100 years, will ever be played again.

All because of two brothers who thought they could make the rules - and consistently break them - hoping that ordinary islanders wouldn’t notice.